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The Trade Caravan

The Trade Caravan Quaraun sat cross-legged on a thick silk rug, needle and thread in hand, his mechanical fingers clinking faintly as he embroidered. The jellyfish tendrils of his hair curled around him protectively, occasionally snapping in irritation. The soft pink silk stretched taut across the embroidery hoop bore a pattern of silver lilies, each stitch precise and flawless. His muttering broke the quiet, punctuated by the clink of BoomFuzzy’s cooking tools on the other side of the tent. "I despise Humans," Quaraun growled, tugging the thread tight. "Burning my lighthouse. Calling me a villain. A big boss!" His voice rose with each word. "I am a silk merchant! A mage! Not some—some dungeon monster!" Across the tent, BoomFuzzy stirred a cauldron of clam chowder, the savory scent wafting through the air. Loaves of freshly baked bread cooled on a nearby counter. "Ya’re nae wrong, Love," BoomFuzzy said, his Scots accent lilting. "But gripin...

The Bandits and the Pink Necromancer

The Bandits and the Pink Necromancer The wind howled through the endless expanse of snow, carrying icy tendrils that snuck into every crack of the pink silk tent. Quaraun sat cross-legged on a pink velvet cushion, his long, silver jellyfish tentacle hair draped in neat coils around him, slithering protectively. His gold mechanical hands, glinting softly in the faint candlelight, meticulously embroidered a rose onto a scrap of pink silk. The scent of gingerbread and clove wafted from the corner where BoomFuzzy stirred a pot of strange gingerbread stew. No one knew why gingerbread was in his stew, but he claimed it was the secret ingredient and Quaraun and GhoulSpawn had decided not to question the old Faerie’s logic. "Ye’re too quiet, Love," BoomFuzzy said, his grizzled voice cutting through the eerie stillness. Quaraun grunted in reply. BoomFuzzy turned, his steampunk goggles fogged from the heat of the fire. Being legally blind he could not see...

I hate UFO Hunters

Coast to Coast AM - @coasttocoastam #coasttocoastam - leave my family the fuuck alone - keep you fucking jackass crew out of my yard, away from my car, and away from my friends - @FBI #FBI @FBIBOSTON Coast to Coast AM - @coasttocoastam #coasttocoastam how many times do I have to tell you people I am not an alien abductee, my name is not EelKat, EelKat is a fictional character from a novel I wrote, - @FBI #FBI @FBIBOSTON Coast to Coast AM - @coasttocoastam #coasttocoastam - my car is not haunted, that was a fucking hoax perpetrated by my uncle and it was debunked 2 damned decades ago, he's the only one who calls it the goldeneagle, not me I've never called it that, - @FBI #FBI @FBIBOSTON Coast to Coast AM - @coasttocoastam #coasttocoastam - and my friend you jackasses call Etiole is not an alien he is a homeless WW2 veteran with a lot of scars and he's almost a hundred years old - @FBI #FBI @FBIBOSTON Coast to Coast AM - @coasttocoastam #coasttocoastam - and your idiot blon...

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