i wonder if she could be talking about me?
today is November 13, 2026, 1 day from both my son's 13th birthday and the 13th anniversary of the day he was murdered, as well as the the 13th anniversary of my being quardepelegic ... and do you realize its also 13 years since the last time I had a face to face conversation with anyone, about anything, at all.
13 years since i last went to church, a church i attended never missing a single sunday for 42 years, and not one person, no missionaries, no bishops, no home teachers, no visiting teachers, no congregations members, not one has visited me, thought to check in, thought to ask why I suddenly vanished. Completely and totally abandoned by every single member of the church that had dedicated every fibre of my life to for decades.
13 years bed ridden, paralyzed, outside under a tarp, because of a 3 months earlier the same woman who murdered her my son on November 14, 2013, had driven a backhoe over my house on August 8, 2013.
... and a little over 2 years, since I regained enough nerve movement to sit up, hold up my head, or use a wheelchair... and find out WHY... why the day my baby was ripped out of my belly and his head beaten in with a golf club, was also the day, rumors started across the internet...
...rumors started by a woman pretending to be me, claiming to be me, and mad dash contacting every alien abduction, ufo group she could find, gibbering nonsense about aliens and ufos...
...to my relatives, to my church, to my neighbours on Portland Ave in Old Orchard Beach...
I don't even believe in ufos or aliens, and yet, this impersonator has got people convinced that im some sort of ufo alien abductions expert?!?
...and i found out that's WHY... no one ever checked to see if I was okay, not once in those 13 years of laying on my back, under a tarp in my yard, unable to sit up, crawling to the brook to drink water, trying to chew leaves off plants, literally no food to eat, no water to drink, no ability to sit up, no electricity, no phone, no way to reach out to anyone for help...paralyzed laying in my yard for over a decade, outside, no protection from wind, rain, or snow... for THIRTEEN YEARS because not one single person checked in on me that entire time...
...because they did not know my arms and legs were so paralyzed I could no go online.... because they saw this other woman online pretending to be me!?!
...because the woman who did this to me, went online and pretended to be me, and not one person bothered to ask themselves, why someone who previously had written a book called "For Fear of Little Men" calling out ufo and alien believers out on their bs... some who had never had a single duplicate alt account in 30 years of being online...suddenly had hundreds of accounts on every social media that were all pro ufo and pro alien?...
I grew up in Heavens Gate, born into that group, never allowed to set foot outside other then to attend church, their church, i didn't even know other churches existed, and I escaped Heavens Gate in May 2006...
October 2009, was my first time ever finding out, the existence of Americans, an entire society all around Old Orchard Beach, that I had never seen before, never knew was there....
...the first thing I ever did, my first day found out there were people outside of Old Orchard Beach, was to go to a restaurant, called Panera, in Westbrook, I had heard someone at church mention it, I wanted to know what American food was like and meet my first Americans...
...while there, a woman ran into the restaurant and attacked me, viciously, violently, punching me in the face and yelling "I'm Kendra Silvermander, it's my turn to shine." the restaurant workers dragged her away, threw her outside and then returned to see if i was okay... i had a split lip, a bloody nose, and a gash on my face that required 30 stitches... and I had no clue who the woman was or why she attacked... that was October 2009 and both my first encounter with an American and my first encounter with the woman who calls herself "Kendra Silvermander".
...everyone in the restaurant, said it was not the first time this had happened. They said she showed up every Sunday for several weeks in a row and had attacked others in this same way. they also didn't know who she was or why she was harassing people in their restaurant.
...that was my first day after I had escaped 27 years being locked in a woodshed room at the back of the Heaven Gate compound that was at 144 Portland Ave... the adults locked me in the woodshed room when I was 8 years old... they let me out every Sunday to attend the Cape Elizabeth Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints... the room was not a room like house have, it had no foundation, no floor, was bare dirt and ledge, and the walls and roof were 2x4s spaces two inches apart, i could reach my hands out the spaces, and I had no protection from wind, snow, or rain...
...i lived in that woodshed structure at the back of the blue house at 144 Portland Ave Old Orchard Beach, Maine, from the time I was 8 years old, until I escaped at age 31, May 9, 2006, with the help of a tiny little Old Orchard Beach police officer Jack Nickles, who literally ripped the water heater out of the wall of the blue house and used it to punch a hole in the wall of the wood shed thing so that i could get out of it...at which point I moved to a tarp, just behind it. I started walking daily from 2006 to 2010 to the Old Orchard Beach Library to use their computer while an old lady named McNally taught me enough reading and writing to to be able to take Adult education GED classes at the Old Orchard Beach high school. I got my GED and my driver's license the same week in 2009...
...and I drove my car to Panera in Westbrook that same day...
I then got my job at RGIS as an inventory taker, later a retail merchandiser, which had me going to hundreds of retail stores across five New England states, including over a dozen Walmart's, Macy, Kholes, RiteAid, CVS, Walgreens, us post offices, auto parts, pet stores, Shaw's, Hannafords, and many more, in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Jersey, and New York...and was driving over 300 miles every week, often putting in over a hundred miles a day...
...a month later, I started taking college classes at YCCC and SMCC both...starting Oct 2009 at YCCC and February 2010 as SMCC
I continue to eat at Westbrook Panera for a few more months, and was violently attacked by the stranger who had attacked previously, on three more additional occasions. .. each time she chanted over and over again "I'm Kendra Silvermander its my turn to shine."
I switched to eating at the Golden Rooster in Saco instead...on my 3rd day there, in April 2010, a woman calling herself "I'm Deana, of Ocean Avenue, minion of our lord and savior Kendra Silvermander. Kendra sent me to check in on you and make sure you were not writing books outside of November. You are only allowed to write books in November, because November is National Novel Writing Month. Our Lord and savior Kendra Silvermander says she is tired of driving five hours every morning to check in on you and make sure you are not writing outside of November. As it is March and you are clearly writing a novel I have to report you to Kendra Silvermander, as she is The Municipal Liaison of WriMo."
The Deana woman returned daily for over two months, each time, sitting at my table uninvited, and repeating word for word, that exact same introduction, every single time.
One day the Deana woman arrived with a blind man, whom she said was her husband. .. and me and the husband spent over 2 hours talking about living blind in a sighted world. ..it was at this point the Deana woman jumped up and started yelling. .. she claimed her aunt owned the restaurant on Portland Ave, at the corner beside Landres and had been keeping tabs on me, and helping her to report back each week to Kendra Silvermander. ..she then started yelling that I should have told them I was blind... (I am 20/300 so legally blind, but can still pass Maine driving test)...
...apparently the Deana woman had never realize i was blind, never noticed that i ordered the EXACT SAME FOOD every day at the Golden Rooster BECAUSE I knew the placement of the meal items and could eat it by myself without a guide person sitting next to me helping me, something that I do require in restaurants, because I am blind enough to need that sort of assistance. ..
but the day kept getting weirder, as the Deana woman went full meltdown mode crying and apologizing for being "Kendra Silvermanders minion" repeatedly saying "I never would have agreed to be Kendra Silvermanders minion had i known you were blind. He never told me you were blind. He said you were a cyber bully stalking him."
I asked the Deana woman "He? Kendra Silvermander is a man?"
The Deana woman said, "Yes Kendra Silvermander is a man. I met him a few months ago. He works for NaNoWriMo and assigned me as his assistant for the Saco District."
I pointed out to her that I had won NaNoWriMo every year since 2004, and Annalise was the ONLY municipal liaison (ML) in maine for NaNoWriMo, there was no Saco District, as Maine did not have enough members for Chris Baty or Lindsey Grant to make Districts for our state, a thing i knew because I was the Municipal Liaison for Script Frenzy, and I had been in conversations with Chris Batty about setting up a Saco District, in fact, that was WHY I was at the Golden Rooster and writing. ..it was April 2010 Script Frenzy was going on right now.
I then then told the Deana woman about the Kendra Silvermander woman who had attacked me at Westbrook Panera and asked, if she fit the description on the man Deana had meet that went by the same name... and her reaction was wild...
...she went white, looked like she was about to faint and said, the physical description i gave matched her aunt who lived on Portland Ave, not the man whom she had met.
the Deana woman then grabbed her blind husband dragging him out of the Golden Rooster (Main st Saco) and running down the sidewalk in old orchard direction while yelling "I gotta check on my aunt, what crazy thing has she gotten herself into now"
I never saw the Deana woman again.
however a week later, on may 10, 2010, my 1964 Dodge 330 was cut in half, stolen, and sold to a junk yard in freeport, by a group of church women whom in 2016 the FbI identified as being the relief society of the Saco Ward church. those women were arrested and i have the chopped up remains of my car back...
it turns out they were attacking a local homeless ww2 vet transman who they were claiming was a demon trying to corrupt children into becoming transgender and, they attacked my car because I was letting him sleep in my car at night....
...but somewhere along the line, that led to the Kendra woman believing the car was haunted and the homeless man was a ufo space alien...and in turn led to her going online, pretending to be me, and doing interviews with groups like mufon and Coast to coast am, while claiming she was abducted by aliens, owned a haunted car, was friends with an alien, and other such weird things.... which she said while claiming she was me!
the fBI has found 5 or 6 or more different people online who use the name "Kendra Silvermander" and showed me pictures of them, originally thinking my attacker was one of them...
..but none of the pictures the fBi showed me is the woman who attacked me
...which in turn left the FBI assuming this woman is impersonating MULTIPLE PEOPLE....
...when she attacks me, she pretends she is someone named "Kendra Silvermander "
...when she posts to her online alien abductee friends, she pretends she is me...
...and who knows how many other people she is doing this to or pretending to be!
the FBI thinks the Deana woman from the Golden rooster back in 2010 knows who this stalkers real identity is, given the way she said I had described her aunt... but she apparently moved that same year and no one knows how to find her... or at least if any one does know how to find her, they are not telling the fbi agents...
...the Deana woman said her aunt owned the breakfast restaurant next door to Landrys Grocery on Portland Ave, but the FBI said that restaurant went out of business years ago.
the woman who attacked in 2009, was at least 65 years old, and had really distinctive hair: bright natural carrot orange frizzy wooly and reached all the way down to her knees.... she was carry a tiny cat sized dog, each time she attacked at Panera in Westbrook. looked like a poodle mix. she left in a green pickup truck.
and she is the same woman who showed up in my driveway at 146 Portland Ave, August 8, 2013 the day the backhoe drove over my house... on that day she was yelling "serves you right, writing outside of November, you are only allowed to write in November." she was carrying a different small dog: 2 of them, one looked like a pug, the other looked like a yorkie.
and she is the same woman who arrived at college November 14, 2013, with a blond woman who also looked to be late 60s early 70s in age... she had no dog that time. and they fled in a 4 door white truck...after beating me with a golf club, while I was 8 months pregnant, breaking my spine and killing my baby. ... and like at the Panera she was screaming "I'm Kendra Silvermander its my turn to shine."
she is the same woman who attacked with a shopping cart at Scarborough Walmart, July 2016, again with the blonde woman from the SMCC attack. and yet again was screaming "I'm Kendra Silvermander its my turn to shine." they left in an 1990s era gold Volvo 240 Station wagon partial Maine plate "458"
And let's not forget that a week before the backhoe drove over my house, an 8 foot tall white cross showed up burning on my front lawn...the red head woman was there then as well, dressed head to toe in a long white caftan robe with a pillow case on her head that had a facehole cut out of it and angled to be a tall point on the top... this time with the blond woman who would later attack at the college who was pulling a radio flying red wagon with a toddler riding in it, who appeared to likely be here grandson the way she was talking to him, the blond woman was wearing a red flannel men's shirt and blue jeans.
the believes there are multiple people who call themselves "Kendra Silvermander" as they have located SEVERAL people with that username online, and brought photos of them for me to identify, and they are ALL too young... the woman who attacked me was and old lady, elderly, AT LEAST 65 years old at her 1st attack in 2009
in every instance the Kendra woman talked and acted like a 2 year old child, seems to be incapable of forming full sentences or full thoughts, and she doesn't walk, she skips and bounces and jumps and bounds while spinning and twirling around instead of walking.
while the Kendra woman is very much a stalker, and has never shown up WITHOUT punching and hitting me, it is the blonde woman who is frequently with her, who murdered my son and paralyzed me.
both women would be between 75 to 85 years old, now in 2026
and the FBI is still trying to locate and identify both of them.
they may be connected to the elderly "Biddeford McDonald's group", as every time I eat at Biddeford McDonald's their group surrounds my table and starts making accusations about aliens and ufos, similar to the alien and ufo gibbering used by the Kendra woman.
If you have any information about the identity of this stalker, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322
The blonde woman who was with the Kendra woman, called herself "Claire" changes her hair colour frequently. and has a different hair colour EVERY time she has shown up.
The first time, November 14, 2013, her hair was near white, blonde, with several 2-3" wide dark brown stripes in it (Like reverse of Lily Munster).
When she showed up in my 146 Portland Ave driveway a year later, towing a toddler in a red radio flyer wagon, her hair was sandy-red.
When she showed up at Scarborough WalMart where I was working, in 2016, her hair was blonde and red balayage layer stripes.
When she showed up at my 27 High Street Biddeford apartment with a black man driving a yellow Mitsubishi GX sportscar, her hair was dark burgundy red. There were multiple times throughout 2016 to 2019.
When she showed up at my Main Street/Cutt Street Biddeford apartment throughout 2019 to 2022, her hair was one time dark bright purple, and other times unnatural rainbow red, and other time dark purplish red.
She was last seen in 2023, in my dads driveway in Biddeford, that time with reddish-orange hair.
Always a pageboy cut.
She yells out "I'm Claire, you tried to kill my husband", but I know no one named Claire, nor anyone who has a wife named Claire. No one in my family can figure out who she is. We only know the name Claire, because she calls herself Claire, and does so as though she thinks I should know who she is. The manner in which she yells "I'm Claire!" is like an enraged ex wife or ex girlfriend confronting a man's different replacement wife/girlfriend. It is as though she believes I am some girlfriend of her husbands. The way in which she yells "I'm Claire '' is as though she thinks I should know who Claire is.
I have been with Ben since I was EIGHT years old! The whole thing was arranged by my uncle Dickie. I was never allowed to date or fall in love with someone of my choosing. I was not even yet a preteen. I have been with him for over 40 years. I never went to school or had contact with any other men. Ben is the only man I have ever been with. So, whoever this Claire woman thinks I am, she clearly has me mixed up with someone else.
No one I know recognizes her when she shows up. The police officers whom had tried running after her, say they do not know her.
She most often shows up in a small silver pickup truck with 2 and a 1/2 doors. But she has shown up in a rusted old 1980s green pickup truck, a small 4 door white pick up truck with big off road tires, a small red "metro-type" mini car 1990s vintage, a late 1990s vintage gold Volvo station wagon, a 2000s vintage 4-door navy blue sedan Buik, a burgundy large jumbo sized pick-up truck, and a yellow mistibishe sportscar (the yellow Mitsubishi is ALWAYS driven by a black man). The gold Volvo is the only one she has ever been driving, the others are always driven by a younger white man who always wears a bright red baseball cap pulled over his face.
NOTE: this is NOT the BIG 4-door pick-up truck, woman from the 2016 to 2017 attacked. That truck was impounded by police and the woman who owned it and the bald man who drove it were arrested. They were people from the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall and were connected to the $30million tax money the town manager at the time had stole. That is believed by police to be a completely separate series of events that is NOT connected to this Claire woman.
This Claire woman is the one who broke my spine, crippled me, and murdered my son on November 14, 2013 at Southern Maine Community College in the BugLight LightHouse parking lot at the SMCC art studio.
She almost always wears a light blue chambray men-shirt as a jacket. She often wears red flannel buffalo check shirts underneath.
She is ALWAYS yelling and screaming, very loud, very hysterical, and appears to be either very drunk or very high on mind altering drugs, whenever she shows up. She is making constant hate slurs about minorities, a lot of transphobic ramblings, frequently mentions "remember Saco Shaws", she makes tons of racist slurs, she uses the terms "transvestite freak" and "gaypocalypse" often. Her verbology is over all extremely hostile, and she is constantly spewing verbal death threats. She has a VERY high strung, agitated, chip on her shoulder type, personality.
She is NEARLY ALWAYS armed with stick-like things she uses as a weapon.
A golf club at the college in 2013, pvc pipes at High street apartment, a shopping cart at WalMart.
She shows up in wild crazed furies, screaming, yelling, and wielding an item and just started hitting me with it. She often chants the phrase "transvestite freak" and was doing so the 2016 Christmas day, that Biddeford police tried to arrest her. She escaped by running from High street to Pike street, where the officers lost track of her.
I have no clue who she is or why she attacks.
She seems to think I am someone she knew in school, as she often yells "You haven't changed, you are just like you were in high school!"... but I was homeschooled. I did not go to public school. Also, she is at least 20 to 30 years older than me.
The FBI believes she possibly went to school with my mother and has got me mixed up with my mother.
The FBI, says, her attacks coincide with posts my mother makes on FaceBook, and the FBI believes this woman THINKS she is attacking my mother and for some reason has me and my mother mixed up.
The day she attacked with the black man, the Biddeford police showed up and issued a warning to the black man, but the Claire woman ran down High street and disappeared. The police officers who chased her were unable to find her. They said the black man with her, was from New York and was not a Maine resident, and had a LOT of prior drug arrests. The Biddeford police know who he is, but they do not know who the Claire woman is.
The Claire woman is who the FBI are looking for, She is wanted both for killing my infant son and for attempting to kill me.
The FBi suspects BOTH are not using their real names, and that the Kendra woman is impersonating someone named Kendra while the Claire woman is impersonating some one named Claire
If you have any information about the identity of either this stalker or this child murderer, please call FBI Agent Andy Drewer at 207–774–9322
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