so sick of this

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Should I just upload all 7,000 pages of the FBI files of my son's murder investigation? And where? And how? It's been 13 years since Xavier was murdered and I feel like the FBI is dragging their feet and getting no where, and I wonder, would it not just be faster if I made the file public so people could see for themselves the names of how many people the FBI has found in Scarborough, Old Orchard, Saco, Biddeford, and the surrounding towns… who had a KNOWN AND VERIFIED connection to either my son's murder, particularly through their obsession with the house that the backhoe drove over, an event that left me homeless WHILE I was 5 months pregnant with the baby they later murdered… does it not seem like more eyes on the files, would lead to faster arrest of the murderer?

So, seeing how there is of late, an increasing number of people, both online and offline, contacting me to say "Yes, I too was told you were a member of the Saco Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints", and in each case, then just randomly being told this by a stranger they say they did not know, and did not know why the person randomly told them this…

So, seeing how its been happening a lot, I contacted the church in question…

…and this make a BIG change in the motive behind the slander… because the FBI has been saying they believed the slander was being done by friends and family of my son's murderer… note that my son was murdered on November 14, 2013.

…keep that date in mind and let's continue:

So, seeing how its been happening a lot, I contacted the church in question…and guess what…according to them, in 2010, THREE YEARS BEFORE my son was murdered, someone, contacted them, and REQUESTED my records to be transferred from my church (The Cape Elizabeth Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the church I have attended and been a member of since 1975, and I have never gone to any other church in 51 years), my church records: baptism records, birth certificates, temple records, everything, from the Cape Elizabeth Church, to the Saco Church.

In other words, yes, indeed, the Saco church DOES have all of my record there, and list me as a member. And they say they've had them since September of 2010.

That's 3 years before my son was murdered.

That means, whoever it is impersonating me… they started impersonating me at least THREE YEARS BEFORE my son's murder… meaning they did NOT, as the FBI told me, start doing it BECAUSE of my son's murder.

But it gets stranger…

I asked if they knew WHO requested my records transferred, because I certainly didn't, nor was I even aware it had been done.

Ben.

They said Ben did it.

Ben says he did not do it.

But Ben also says he does not know Don. And I know that's a lie, because I caught Ben paying Don to cut down trees on my land. And I NEVER gave any one permission to be on my land, cutting trees or otherwise.

Ben, DOES NOT have permission to give ANYONE permission to do ANYTHING on my land.

So if Ben has ever told you you could be near my land, know that he lied to you and I won't think twice about slapping your trespassing ass in jail.

NO ONE has permission to do or say ANYTHING on my behalf.

Not Ben, not my mother, not my father, not any Atwater, not any church… and if ANYONE has EVER told you they were speaking for me, about ANYTHING know that they ARE lying to you and I don't care how much you say "But they said", because they are not me, and I WILL call the police on you.

But now comes the question… who do I sue? Ben for putting in the transfer request without my knowledge or permission?

Or The Saco Ward Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for carrying out the request WITHOUT ever contacting ME to see if I was actually aware it was happening?

…interestingly, the people who say they were told I believe in aliens, ALSO cite having been told this by a random would who walked up to them on the street, in the store, on up their driveway, to tell them "Watch out for her she believes in aliens"... and we HAVE identified some of the people doing it… or rather the cars they leave in: a navy blue mini van with "Weasly" license plate and a Mini Copper with "Hi I Q" license plate.

…likewise the witchcraft rumours, the haunted car rumors, and several other similar slanderous lies being spread about me, are always being given to people in this same method…same 2 cars seen doing it.

It is a very bizarre and rather unique method of slander, known as "proselytizing", specifically it is when someone pays a "crew" of people to wandering around going door to door to spread propaganda… a thing known in many religions as "missionary work"... are they members of that church and using this method to slander me because they are members of that church?

So, now the question is… are those 2 cars connected to that church, what do those 2 cars have to do with my bank accounts being closed out (the stolen money that was previously suspected of being laundered out of my bank account and into that church's bank account)... are those 2 cars connected to the backhoe that drove over my house August 8, 2013 (it already known that that church paid the backhoe driver, the question is WHO from that church did so); and are those 2 cars connected to my son's murder on November 14, 2013 (it is already known that the woman who murdered my son, is connected to that church and that church has, previously already refused to allow FBI agents to interview them).

But, now Ben's name is on yet MORE documents connected to both the backhoe driving over my house… a house that we had just finished adding a baby bedroom too days before the backhoe arrived… and his son's murder… a baby… that he refused to allow me to go to a doctor for the entire pregnancy, his reason "What would the Bishop think?" (Bishop Dr. Larivier of the Sanford ward Church, being the bishop he was referring to).

Ben is among the list of people refusing to cooperate with the FBI, along with my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church, ALL of whom have done an interesting thing.

After the FBBI agents go to their houses, they, .Ben, my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church, come over here to me and give me hell, in a rage, claiming that I sent the FBI over to snoop around their houses and accuse them of crimes. These people CLAIM that I am telling the FBI all sorts of things about them.

And yet, in each and every case, I was never aware the FBI had gone to their houses, I never told the FBI ANYTHING.

The FBI showed up here AFTER they had already contacted every one else first.

You see, when Ben, my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church all started telling me the FBI was going to their houses… my response was:

"Why? There isn't an FBI investigation, is there? I've never talked to the FBI. What are you talking about?"

The FBI was going around to all their houses throughout 2013 and into 2016 and onwards… but my first time encountering the FBI agents in charge of my son's murder investigation was June 16, 2016… three years AFTER my son was murdered. The FBI investigation was going on for three full years before I even found out about it.

I only knew Ben, my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church were being contacted by the FBI because Ben, my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church kept raving and ranting both online and offline, with weird accusations saying "Wendy's causing trouble, she's sending the FBI over here!"

Let me point out that more then FOUR HUNDRED members of the Atwater family said these exact words on my FaceBook profile between 2013 and 2016: "Stop causing trouble for me! Stop sending the FBI over to my house!"... to which I always replied: "What are you talking about? I'm not sending the FBI anywhere?"

It was very confusing… until June 16, 2016, the FBI finally showed up to talk to me. They had a lot to say. And I was stunned, because the police, never told me the FBI had taken over my son's murder case.

But, for the first time, I suddenly understood WHY Ben, my mother, my father, the 400 + Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church had all been accusing me of "causing trouble and sending over the FBI!"

My son was murdered. And the FBI had gone to their houses to ask them, if they knew, of anyone, who might want to murder my 8 month old baby.

In fact, BEFORE the atwaters went nutjob with the accusations of "Wendy's causing trouble!" The FBI had been focusing on Ben. And what the FBI had ACTUALLY been asking my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church… was this: "Do you suspect domestic abuse? Do you think Ben would hire a hitman to murder his own son? Do you know why Ben refused to allow Wendy to get prenatal treatment? Do you know why Ben would not take Wendy to the hospital? Do you know why, when Wendy's spine, hips, and knees were broken November 14, 2013, why did Ben wait until February 14, 2014 to finally take her to the free clinic and tell them she fell on the ice?"

Those are the questions the FBI asked my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church, to which my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church responded by saying on FaceBook :Wendy's causing trouble, she sent to FBI after us!"

No one… not one of them… my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church, thought there was anything wrong with what Ben did, and for some reason they were so convinced that the FBI was there to in their own words from their FaceBook posts "take or cats and children" that they completely ignored, overlooked, and outright forgot, that the REASON the FBI was there was to ask them, if they had any information to lead to identifying my son's murderer.

But… now in 2026, in recent weeks, as more and more is being found out…it is becoming glaring apparent, that Ben, my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church ALL have some connection to BOTH the backhoe that drove over my house on August 8, 2013 AND my son's murder on November 14, 2013.

And with this, now, yet another one… the discovery that BEN is the one who has not only been telling people I'm a member of a church I never attended, but he also is the one who contacted that church and had my records transferred from my ACTUAL church, to this church in Saco… why?

Why did he do that?

I am seeing more and more, that I can not trust Ben, my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church, because they ALL seem now to have been working together to destroy my land, drive a backhoe over my house, cut my car in half, murder my son, and cripple me… it's no wonder NOT ONE of them has lifted a finger to help with my son's murder investigation.

I don't know who to trust any more.

And I'm lead to ask now… I have 3 brothers… they DID attend the Saco Church… are THEY aware what is going on? The FBI has never mentioned them at all, so I don't know if the FBI has ever talked my brothers or not. I don't even know if my brothers still attend that church or not.

Well, if this murder investigation has taught me anything, its that no one was ever a real friend to me, no one ever loved me, and no one cares about finding my son's killer because they are all too busy being guilty about who knows what, to dare talk to the FBI agents who still keep knocking at their doors, over and over again.

I do have to ask this though:

If the FBI knocked on your door, how would YOU respond?

My default, when they showed up, was to think "Oh no! Someone's hurt? Did someone die? Is my family okay?"

Not once did i think: "Oh no! Someone sent the FBI here to find out what been doing!"

Why do Ben, my mother, my father, the Atwaters, and around 75 members of the Saco Ward Church, all, every one of them default to "Oh no! Wendy sent the FBI here to arrest us!"

How is THAT the first thing they thought when the FBI showed up to ask them to help find my son's killer?

Their responses, just lead me to think: they are involved with my son's murder, because, if they weren't, they'd have nothing to hide and nothing to fear.

I do not understand their reactions at all.Though it has lead to me understanding that they are all cold, cruel, heartless, uncaring, unfeeling, and don't give a shit that their son/grandson/nephew/cousin was murdered… of course, I already knew that when no one showed up at Xavier Octavian Allen-Wildes funeral, not even his father, Ben. No one. Exactly ZERO.

I don't know what to think about now knowing that it was Ben who has been telling people I go to the Saco Ward, and that it was Ben who transferred my records without me knowing it was even done. He never wanted the baby, that was never a secret. He spent the entire of 2013 preaching "the exceptions of when the Mormon church allows abortion" and refused to let me go to a doctor or a midwife or a hospital… and was infuriated when he found out people at college, some of my teachers, some of my classmates, all of the game group, knew I was pregnant.

But then, there is the fact that the church record transfer happened THREE YEARS before my son was murdered… meaning this started BEFORE I was even pregnant, and the baby was not the original motive at all.

Who can I trust any more?

This is literally, my husband, both my parents, and ALL of my aunts, uncles, and cousins, and my mother's church group, that are ALL suspects for being involved in both the backhoe driving over my house and my son's murder.

Why would they do this? I still can't understand what the motive behind any of it could be.

At first the FB said they thought insurance, but then they found out I had no house insurance, nor do I have life insurance, so that cross out that motive. I don't get any money from the government (Maine has this weird law where you can't have 2 people in 1 family getting disability and my father was already on disability, so as long as I'm staying with him I can't get disability, but being paralized, as long as I don't get disability I have no way to not stay with him. My income is too low for either food stamps of medical coverage (contrary to popular myth, those are both LOANS and your income must be high enough for you to pay the state back)... the FBI says the Atwaters believe some pirate relative in the 1700s buried gold on my land, and the FBI thinks THAT is the motive he Atwaters have… okay, that sounds crazy, but these are the people who were members of Heaven's Gate and tried to fly to heaven on an alien mother-ship, so, pirate gold buried on my land is not the craziest thing I've heard the Atwaters say.

This is a family that loves to preach "Family over everything!, "Family proclamation", "Family first"... I guess me and my son don't count as family and are expendable, thus why they don't bat an eye at me in a wheelchair or my son being murdered.

My way of thinking: You can preach "Family over everything" all you want, but if you ain't got the balls to fight for justice after an 8 month old baby has his head bashed in with a golf club… you REALLY don't believe "Family over everything".

Xavier Octavian Allen Wildes - is Ben's son, so clearly "Family over everything" doesn't matter to him.

Xavier Octavian Allen Wildes - is my mother's grandson, my father's grandson so clearly "Family over everything" doesn't matter to them.

Xavier Octavian Allen Wildes - is the nephew and cousin of the Atwaters, so clearly "Family over everything" doesn't matter to them either.

Being paralized these past 13 years, I've not been able to get out and do any investigating of my own.

These past 13 years, I've had to rely ONLY on what police officer Will Watson and FBI Agent Andy Drewer tell me is going on with the investigation.

But that is changing now, that I'm starting to walk again, on some limited level at least. Because now I can start going to all these place, like I just did, the Saco ward Church, and find out for myself, who is and is not lying to me and about me.

So, this marks the start of me no longer relying 100% on only information told me by police and FBI… this is the start of me going out there and tracking down my son's murderer myself.

I'm thinking of just taking all 7,000 (yes seven thousand) pages of the FBI investigation doocuments and posting them online, because there's like 40+ names listed in here, I don't even know who these people are, and maybe if I just start scanning and uploading the entire case file online, people will know who these people are and how they are connected to the backhoe, Ben, my parents, the Atwaters

I mean it's been 13 years… and while the FBI has done a lot of work, there's only like two hundred of these pages that is information they are allowing me to talk about… like I said, I know a LOT MORE then I'm saying online, and what I've said online isn't even one sixteenth of the amount of actual information I have.

I mean, I have lists of people in Connecticut and Utah and Arizona, and they are ALL people I've never heard of before. But the FBI says they are involved, and connected to the backhoe that drove over my house.

I've got lists of names from all over Maine Waterville, Waterborough, Bangor, Oreno… again, I have no clue who any of these people are, but the FBI says they are ALL connected to my son's murder.

And the FBI wants most of this stuff not released to the public, but I'm homeless now for THIRTEEN YEARS and my health getting worse BECAUSE I am homeless… I NEED a house back on my land, but I have no way to put a house back on my land, because I have no income, and someone closed out my bank accounts, and BECAUSE I have no income, I can't get disability, or food stamps, or medical coverage because my income is too low. I can't go back to work, because I need surgery, but I can't get surgery because I have no medical insurance, and I can't get medical insurance, because according to the DHHS I am 768% below the federal poverty level.

I could work from home, if I wasn't homeless, but a backhoe drove over my house August 8, 2013, which is why I am homeless.

And it is this endless circle, that overall, is 100% caused by this backhoe that drove over my house.

That the police and FBI can't seem to find out who exactly the driver was or who exactly it was who paid him to drive over my house.

But, the list of people suspected of being involved in hiring the backhoe to drive over my house , includes 75+ members of this Saco Ward Church, that I am now finding out was HEAVILY involved in EVERYTHING!!!!!

To the point there are records of members of this church going to the town hall in… 2010… THREE YEARS BEFORE the backhoe… and telling the Old Orchard Beach Town hall they were getting a house demolition permit, on my behalf, claiming that I sent them there!

Clearly, something something happened in 2010 to cause a large of this very small church congregation to gain an unhealthy obsession with me, my land, and "Kenny's little yellow house" as they call my house in the paperwork.

Ken is my father and never owned that house. I inherited it in 1983 from his mother Helen Ricker Allen.

And yet… I see a LOT of these documents referring to MY house as "Kenny's little yellow house".

Like I said, I don't know how to make sense of these seven thousand pages of information from the FBI investigation into my son's murder, which apparently, was just a more recent event in a chain of evens that started several years before I was even pregnant and involves, my parents, Ben, the Atwaters, and this church in Saco, ALL of whom, were near daily going to the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall, trying to get information about "Kenny's little yellow house at 146 Portland Avenue Old Orchard Beach, Maine"... so my question here is… WHY are there just under FIVE HUNDRED people all obsessed with going to the Old Orchard Beach Town Hall between 2010 and 2013 obsessively demanding various information about MY house while calling it my father's house?

What is even going on with ANY of this?

One of the FBI's several theories as to motive for my son's murder, is the motive that my son was murdered because I won't sell my land at 146 Portland Ave… because in 2010, someone in Kennebunk asked me to trade my land in Old Orchard for their house in Kennebunk, claiming that I was the one who had contacted them with that suggestion.

There is just this massive amount of obsession of a strip of land that is barely even seventy-five feet wide… you can see my motorhome… the hood is on one side of my land and the back is on the other, and I have exactly enough room to put my car beside it…. two car spaces… that wide my land it…

My house that the backhoe drove over… it was NINE FEET WIDE by SIXTEEN FEET long.

For point of reference.. my Volvo, is EIGHT feet wide and FOURTEEN feet long.

My house was exactly 2 feet longer and 2 feet wider then my Volvo 240.

My land isn't even wide enough to be a road… it's barely wide enough to call it a path.

You can SEE how small this tiny little strip of land is… so explain to me why, I have a list of just under FIVE HUNDRED NAMES, of people, all connected to this one church in Saco… who are so obsessed with buying my land, that ONE OF THEM drove a backhoe over my house and beat my 8 month old baby's head in with a golf club.

Explain that too me, because I don't understand it.

Why is this piece of land that is smaller then the average driveway, worth killing a child over?

But also, I'm just wondering, how much faster would my son's murderer be identified, if I just took this huge 7k page file and posted online, so everyone everywhere could see for themselves the names of how many people the FBI has found in Scarborough, Old Orchard, Saco, Biddeford, and the surrounding towns… who had a KNOWN AND VERIFIED connection to either my son's murder, particularly through their obsession with the house that the backhoe drove over, an event that left me homeless WHILE I was 5 months pregnant with the baby they later murdered.

quaraun-boomfuzzy-ghoulspawn-art-by-wendy-christine-allen

|Three Wizards and a Lighthouse|

In the year 2525, a comet struck the Moon. Now, in 40th century Maine, Earth is frozen, the Moon is fractured, and UnDead Lobsters are a serious problem. And then there's Quaraun: The Pink Necromancer. Most feared super villain on Earth. Possibly the galaxy. Maybe ever. But all he wants is tea, silk embroidery, and a calm evening in his lighthouse.

BoomFuzzy, the Unicorn Lich King of the UnSeelie Court, is Quaraun's dead husband. Technically dead. Officially terrifying. Unofficially the best baker left in the apocalypse.

GhoulSpawn, their brilliant, baffled companion, fell through time from 1978 and never found the way home. Now he juggles tech repairs, running from zombies, and being madly in love with the two most dangerous men of the apocalypse.

This is a collection of short stories. Quiet ones. Weird ones. Possibly haunted ones. Mostly, it's about what happens when the end of the world knocks… and someone still has to do the laundry.

Follow Quaraun at home in his shape-shifting eldritch Black Tower Lighthouse, as he tries (and fails) to enjoy peace, quiet, and pearls while fending off monsters, memories, and the occasional MerMan.

|Three Wizards and a Lighthouse by Wendy Christine Allen - 101 illustrated short stories available on Kindle, paperback, or hardcover.|

quaraun-boomfuzzy-unnicorn-pink-necromancer-wendy-c-allen-2024-03